Life has been going well. I have a well-paying job. It is secure. I am good at it and I also enjoy the challenges it brings with it. From time to time I get stressed from the work pressure. But overall it is what I choose to do. And I don’t have any complaints about it.
But regularly a question pops in my mind. To which I don’t have an answer. Whenever it gets me, I become zoned out for a few days. I lose my focus and I start thinking about other options. I don’t know whether it happens to everyone or it is just me. This question completely catches me off-guard and takes me out for few days. And once I get busy again it goes into a dormant state until the next big decision I have to make. It is not particularly about my career. It is more of a life question.
And the question is, “What is the purpose of my life?” It may sound it is coming from a narcissistic mindset. But it is not that, it is more out of curiosity. I do really want to find it out. Like what I am doing is good, but I think there is something for me out there even better. Better in a way that, I can devote my life to.
Or I am wrong. Is it that we just select a thing and stick to it. Devote our life to it and good things will happen. It is about duty and not purpose at that point. One picks up a job and does it religiously. Is that enough? Is that how it is supposed to be.
This is the one question that baffles me every now and then. I do believe that there is something out there for me. The work in which I will get lost in. And because of that, I have started trying few other things that life has to offer. Earlier I wasn’t interested and if I was even interested I would delay it for another day. But now I do try it. And this is how I found the love of writing.
I still am not sure that ‘Writing’ is that. But I have been writing a lot. At least compared to what I used to. I am ready to try other things as well. But writing is something that I have been trying really hard. If writing may not be that thing I am looking for, but still it is something that will help me. It will help my vocabulary a lot. And that is something that I am very adamant about improving. That is one thing that for some reason I really want to improve. Because if personally find it really attractive when one can clearly articulate their thoughts and convey their message. THat is something that I lack and I want to improve on it.
I have been wrestling with this question for quite a while now and I am content with just trying to find it. But I would love it if I can find that and say that I have found my purpose in life.